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No matter what happens.................................

Betterhalf had been in Kuantan almost 2 weeks but we both never ever get a chances to get together as a couple at all. tak tahu kenapa, and make me lost with my own fellings.menda ni semua buat i lagi menyampah dan sangat sakit hati.Yeah...

Betterhalf tersangat busy. Always busy doing this and that. i tak tahu nak explain macam mana, sebab now, i fell like im gonna cry in 15minutes. but, if betterhalf call me now and ask me either im okey or not, ill bet im gonna cried at the time being. ;( dan macam biasa, dia akan cakap, 'dah..dah...takpayah la nangis '. and it ends.

Tak tahu kenapa since dia balik, betterhalf tersangat lah busy. Even i call him and ask him untuk teman i makan sata dekat Tanjung Api pun, he was still doing his work but he knows, dia dah janji and i know tapi just pretend yang I lupa akan janji dia tu. .kalau nak ikut, banyak benda yang dia janji nak temankan i before dia balik Kuantan, like teman i tengok movie, pergi Guardian belikan i maskara..pergi tengok ada sale shawls ke tak, tengok bola and whatsoever things. i rather lupakan semua, daripada ingat sesuatu yang dia sendiri lupa. 

Then dia sibuk-sibuk nak tengok Arsenal match and i dont know with whom. How i wish i could say "Don't go. Just spend time with me." Tapi i tanak jadi pentingkan diri sendiri. I taknak dia kata i mengada-ngada dan i taknak IF dia cancel tengok Arsenal, dia seakan-akan terpaksa being together with me. Bukannya i langsung tak bagi dia tengok Arsenal, i can be sporting GF if he being excatly like i do. So malam tadi i just sat in front of the tv tengok cerita paling bodoh dalam dunia sebab it seemed i watched nothing. Tak bestnya that feeling.

semalam I tunggu dia at the night and hoping dia akan ajak i late dinner or jumpa i even sekejap dekat pintu pagar pun takpe, sebab dia dah nak balik harini dan akan balik semula hujung bulan ni, but almost 10, he texted me. and as i expect, dia bagitau dia busy.i just replied ' ok ' and both senyap.Initially i was hoping i could talk to him. tell him how much i need him and how i miss him, and tell him pleaseeeee jangan balik esok. spent time with me.Tapi lain yang diharap lain yang dapat. He just text me at 12am just to wish goodnight. :((

i wish, alangkah bagusnya kalau sekarang i ada dua lelaki pilihan, dan dua-dua pun sayangkan i, bila betterhalf make me feel annoyed, i akan pergi dekat seorang lagi dan i akan kata pada betterhalf, padan muka. hm, kejam kan.

banyak kan 'i wished' , ' i was hoping'? Mungkin i terlalu banyak mengharap which i think tak sepatutnya.Tapi i wish to, but i cant, i tahu I tak patut fikir all those so called tiny things rather than big things.but i just hoping,  still inside me, i cant force myself to not to...
hm.
macam ni nak bertunang?
macam ni nak kawin hujung tahun ni?
macam ni nak teruskan being together as couple?
i wish to....

h,mm....
syg,
No matter what happens, no words can describe how much you are meant to me.



p/s : please jangan kata i ni manja, sebab i akan jadi paling kasar if u wish to...

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